The Last Year…

The other day I got an email letting me know my “anniversary” for my blog was coming up. Can’t believe it’s been four years since I’ve started this journey; not an entire four years though. I’ve been inactive for the last year, and I didn’t even realize I stopped doing what I love. But coming here after reading that email, I realized that I haven’t written, or even really photographed, since I wrote about losing Alessia, our daughter. Did I stop writing because I had expressed so much and lost so much in that one post? Not sure, but here I am to catch up on everything that’s happened to us since then.

For starters: we lost Alessia on September 29, 2016. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through, and the months that followed were not easy. After just a few days I went back to work and school, like nothing had happened. But it was a good distraction. After having the D&E done, I talked with Ruben about possibly having another baby. There was something in me that felt like the time was right. A lot of people might think that it was me trying to “fill the void,” but it was nothing like that. It was a feeling I couldn’t describe. We agreed we would try, and when I didn’t get pregnant again on the first try, I was devastated- feared that I would never be able to get pregnant again. But on January 9th of 2017, we found out we were pregnant.

When I was pregnant with Alessia, Ruben’s sister Breanna and I were only a few weeks apart in our pregnancies. She had her daughter, Arielle, on January 12th… 3 days after I found out I was pregnant again. Naturally, when I went to see her and the new baby at the hospital, I couldn’t keep the secret. She had asked me if I was okay being around a newborn after everything that had happened. I told her I was fine, and had news- she was going to be an aunt (fingers crossed everything would work out this time around). I remember this so clearly- she was in the middle of changing her newborn, stop, squealed, and gave me the tightest hug; her words, “she can be naked for a second, I have to hug you right now, I’m so excited!”

For a long time after finding out we were pregnant, I felt like I couldn’t be excited. I was excited with Alessia, and look where it got me. Everything was “going great” with Alessia, only to find out it really wasn’t. So this time around, I thought would be the same. I don’t think I got “excited” until half way through, after our anatomy scan. But EVERYTHING about this pregnancy was different- I didn’t get sick, all of my appointments were so positive, and soon enough I was 9 months pregnant and ready for baby (it seriously went by so fast!)

We had Luna Mia Bello (yes, she has the same middle name as Alessia) on September 17, 2017 at 6:24 AM. What a wild experience. I labored for like 30 hours in the hospital. They broke my water for me. It was just crazy- I literally pushed for THREE HOURS!! Yeah, most people push like once, or like 15 minutes. But not me. I pushed for THREE DAMN HOURS. But I guess that’s probably because she was almost 9 pounds.

I was lucky enough to have my partner, Ruben, his sister Breanna, my mom, and Ruben’s mom. They were all so supportive, and not just for this moment, but for my entire pregnancy.

I feel very blessed to have had such a smooth pregnancy. Though it was not all rainbows – Ruben had to work up North the last two months of my pregnancy, I finally graduated college at 6 months pregnant (walking around that big in the Summer heat was no joke), and we literally built a room/nursery for Luna. But it has been such an exciting, challenging, and rewarding journey and I feel so thankful that God has given me this opportunity to be Luna’s mom. So I’ll say it like I said it two posts ago- “New Mom Alert!”

… Subscribe to keep up with my journey through motherhood. Thanks for reading!

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